Video game developer Cliff Bleszinski has revealed his struggle with alcoholism and how it affected not just his work on Gears of War but contributed to the failure of hero shooter LawBreakers and his studio, Boss Key Productions.

Bleszinski was one of the chief designers at Epic Games, working on Jazz Jackrabbit, the Unreal games, and Gears of War. He left Epic to found his own studio, Boss Key Productions, but its games, LawBreakers and Radical Heights, failed, and Boss Key shut down.

Now 51, Bleszinski told 80 Level that he’s mostly to blame for the collapse of Boss Key. “I was a functioning alcoholic,” he said. “Then I became a non-functioning alcoholic.” Bleszinski said he is now four months sober, and is considering a return to video game development.

The wide-ranging interview discusses everything from LawBreakers’ failure (“LawBreakers tripped so Concord could faceplant”), new game ideas that never came to anything, and the death of his dog. Bleszinski admitted his ego played a part in his various mistakes (he refused to co-found Boss Key with former fellow Gears developer Rod Fergusson, for example).

Bleszinski said that his problems with alcohol began in 2003 while working on Unreal Tournament, but extended through the development of the Gears of War games,

“The Gears of War trilogy was largely developed hungover by me,” he said. “I was, at that point, a functioning alcoholic.”

“You go to your GDCs, you go to your E3s, you have three nights in a row of going to parties, or wine dinner with your partners and then you have hotel lobby bars,” he added. “My tolerance was so high that other developers would have a few and I would get all of this confidential information and remember it. It was almost like my superpower for a while.”

In March, Bleszinski suffered a seizure and ended up in hospital, he said. He gave up drinking after that, and is now seeing a therapist. “Eventually, my body was like ‘F**k you,’ and I realized this is me hitting a wall and it’s time to give this up after 25 years of partying,” he said.

Now, though, Bleszinski appears to be doing better, telling 80 Level that he is considering a return to video game development. He made it clear, though, that he has no intention of making another PvP game, insisting: “Good luck to anyone in that space.”

Wesley is Director, News at IGN. Find him on Twitter at @wyp100. You can reach Wesley at [email protected] or confidentially at [email protected].